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Stop trying to be popular, likable and helpful.

Butterfly Sacred Symbols Oracle

Stop trying to be popular, likable and helpful.

  |   Articles, Reflections

Can I share with you something that bugs me?


I find myself getting really annoyed when I see well established memoir writers put out a book about Tarot, or an artist putting out a Tarot deck just because it’s the popular, stylish thing to do these days.


It bothers me because I know a sizable chunk of the population will follow name recognition rather than the experience and wisdom of someone they have never heard of, and it compounds the huge amount of misinformation out there.


But it also saddens me because it shows me how anyone—even someone already successful in their chosen field—can be pulled into the oh-so alluring “everyone else is doing it” popularity game.


Here is something I know for certain: Each and every one of us has a unique set of gifts to offer. These gifts do not define you—they ARE you.


But most of us waste a lot of time focusing on the things that we think others want and need from us: things we are good at, perhaps, even great. We want to feel needed, worthy, popular and helpful. We want to be recognized.


But these things, while they may boost our egos and income streams, do not light us up, or fuel our self-confidence. They do not make you feel like a total badass genius.


When I begin working with a new client, her inherent gifts immediately begin to sparkle beneath the waste and roughage of “shoulds” — long held beliefs about who she thinks she is and needs to be.


These beliefs coat most of us like a heavy crust or outgrown skin. This is the norm, and yes, even for me. I am in the habit of always questioning what I think, and filtering how many newsletters and blog posts I read because I know personally how alluring it can be to jump onto someone else’s success wagon.


“Maybe I should get trained in reiki… Maybe I need to know more about crystal healing… Maybe I need to talk about money manifestation…”


The truth is that I know several wonderful coaches and practitioners that cover these three areas with far greater expertise than I ever could or would want!


The first step towards discovering your gifts is to ask yourself these kinds of questions and explore the possibilities. There is nothing wrong with following impulses and spreading yourself thin…at first.




There comes a point, though, when following trends becomes a distraction, and the “maybes” are actually “shoulds” in disguise. Underneath those “shoulds” is a belief that you are not worthy enough.


But, you are. If I didn’t believe it, I wouldn’t do the work I do. So, I’ll say it again:


You are worthy.


It is my job to help my clients bring their inherent, unique gifts to the surface. And, actually, sort of like the Hulk… but in a beautiful, not scary or violent way… those gifts break them free of the old, heavy crust of “shoulds,” transforming them, strengthening them, driving them, filling them with their own brightness.


Each of us is a total badass genius. You are a total badass genius. I am a total badass genius.


When I went into business for myself three years ago, I began as a Tarot Reader, because I hadn’t yet explored or trusted the full extent of my gifts.


But I couldn’t keep up with the pace of other readers. I took more time, went deeper than any other reader I knew, seeing and knowing things that my clients weren’t able to digest in just an hour session.


I could have tried to stick it out, but that would be doing my gifts and you a disservice. And I wouldn’t believe that I am badass genius.


Bringing your gifts to the surface, polishing them, nurturing them, and helping them grow takes time and patience. So, please, don’t give up.


Don’t believe that just because a woman in your inbox appears to be striving while you are struggling is because she has found the golden ticket. Or because she is more worthy and more talented than you.


Believe in you. Follow what lights you up inside.


If you need some motivation other than the fact that once you follow your genius, you’ll trust yourself, and feel more spiritually connected and more confident than ever before, then here’s this:


We need your genius!! Oh, the world needs the real you so badly. Like never before. So do it for this world.


Mary El World Tarot Card


And if you want some help—someone to help you discover your badass genius and bring her to the surface, I am here to be of service. Go here to learn about my coaching programs.


(The card in first image is from the Sacred Symbols Oracle. The cards in the second and third images are from the Mary-El Tarot.)