Card Focus: Lovers
With my Sun in Gemini, if I go by Golden Dawn astrological correspondences, the Lovers is my soul card. But also, if I add up all the digits of my birthday and year, then reduce to a number under 23 (thus, corresponding to a card of the major arcana), I get 6, which is also the number to the Lovers card.
Because of this double correspondence, I have spent quite a bit of time meditating on the significance of this card and the wisdom it has to offer in my own life as well as others. I must say that I am a total romantic—always have been. I used to daydream for hours as a child about a fantasy life with my latest crush. I get choked up watching almost any romantic movie. (Dirty Dancing is my all-time fave.) I love the awe and wonder that comes with discovery, like a hiking trail that leads to a swimming hole, or a restaurant with new flavors.
Love and romance is a big aspect of the Lovers, and often the Lovers does indicate a blossoming romance with another person. But—and here’s the key to understanding the Lovers—romance does not have to involve another person. You can fall head over heals over the idea of quitting your job and going to art school. You can fall in love with a new city, a new country, a new apartment. The love can also be platonic or familial—you could be falling in love with your brand new baby, a new friend, or reconnecting with someone from your past.
What all of these romances have in common is the fact that you are ready to grow and discover new aspects of yourself through another. The parts of yourself that you have yet to incorporate into your identity beg for attention, and you find these parts in other people, places and opportunities. The love you feel is a coming home to new parts of yourself.
The Lovers, like Wheel of Fortune, Death and Tower, is a card of change but unlike those other cards, with the Lovers, there is a desire to transform that feels more like an awakening and not a sacrifice. And also with the Lovers, you always have a choice. Do you break out of your current identity or do you stay with what you’ve been taught to be? Who do you want to become? And so the Lovers, as a card and stage near the beginning of our path, has a wonderful lesson for the rest of the journey: that change can be a wonderful thing, and only through change can we grow to become true to ourselves.